Plan Out Your Teshuva!

Chodesh Elul is supposed to be a time for teshuva. Right before the yimey hadin we have a month dedicated to reflecting on our year where we can look back and see which areas in our lives really need work. While we are supposed to do this throughout the year as well, Elul is a special time to take a step back and see where we are in relation to where we know we can be.

Recently I've found this to be quite stressful. We all know we can be more, be better and yet we're falling short. Without even doing a proper cheshbon I know I am not where I should be and have found it very frustrating that this year even though it's currently Elul I haven't been able to pull myself together and go into super-teshuva mode like I have in the past. It's upsetting to feel as if you lack the tools to do real teshuva, especially before Rosh Hashanah.

The Kotzker Rebbe was once asked "Where is G-d?" to which he responded, "Wherever you let Him in." So when I picked up Holy Woman today and read this I took it as Hashem telling me where I was going wrong, and how I could fix it:

"...Mussar books tell us that it is not enough to aspire for a good trait, but one must work out specific techniques for acquiring that good trait...Lofty aspirations usually fail not from a lack of will but from a lack of method. Just as a building cannot be built from a vision, but only from a carefully drawn architect's plan, so real self-change requires a specific plan. When we declare, "I'll never get depressed," we doom ourselves to failure. When, however, we say, "When I feel depression overtaking me, I'll do X, Y, or Z," we are likely to succeed."

Teshuva can't come from a quick look at the areas where one needs improvement because that only results in feeling overwhelmed. Real teshuva requires a plan of specific steps and tactics to tackle the problem at the source, as well as emunah. May we all merrit Hashem's assistance to come to complete teshuva!

Kasiva V'Chasima Tova!