Proper Speech Lesson of the Day- 15th of Elul

Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
In merit of this learning may Avraham Berl ben Rootch and Chana bat Yitteh Etel be blessed with health, happiness, and only revealed good. May they each merit an immediate refuah shleima bitoch she'ar cholei yisrael.

I
When we make comments, even positive ones, about someone, remember how easily the conversation can drift in negative directions.

II
A remark such as "I think Chaim is great, but there is one thing I can't stand about him" is unlikely to trigger an extended discussion of Chaim's good attributes; rather, the conversation probably will focus on that "one thing".

(Words that Hurt Words that Heal by Joseph Telushkin)

Create a wonderful day!

charlie harary on rosh hashanah!

http://www.aish.com/v/ho/100244454.html

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Abayudaya- The Jews of Uganda!

Proper Speech Lesson of the Day- 14th of Elul

Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud

In merit of this learning may Achinoam Chaya bat Yael be blessed with an immediate refuah shleima bitoch she'ar cholei yisrael.

I
It is always a good idea to think before speaking, but when we are displeased with what someone said or did, having a specific goal in mind for the conversation becomes an even higher priority.

II
An angry message conveys lack of control. Instead of the people hearing what needs to be heard, they will be saying to themselves: "S/he sounds like a raving maniac and totally hysterical".

(Anger. The Inner Teacher by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin)

Create a wonderful day!

Pregnant Women Stepping on Nails

I know many of you probably already read this in Halacha of the Day but for those of you who didn't... I always heard about this but wasn't sure what the exact halacha was:

Reader's Question:

In regard to the halachos about pregnant women not stepping on nails, I'm curious if a pregnant woman would be allowed to get a manicure/pedicure in a nail salon where there are probably nails on the floor.

Is the halacha that one should be careful to dispose of one's nails properly? Or is the halacha that a pregnant woman should be careful not to step on nails?

Answer:

The halacha is for both the person cutting the nails to be careful, but also for the woman to avoid walking there and endangering her unborn child.

I received the following email from a reader: "A point about nails: R' Shmuel Felder [Shlita, Dayan of Bais Medrash Govoha] told me that a pregnant women should not go into a nail salon (where they give manicures, etc.)."

Yerachmiel

Proper Speech Lesson of the Day

Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
In merit of this learning may Tehila bat Yehudis be blessed with health, happiness, success, peace, and only revealed good.

I
For most of us, the best approach to ethical speech would be - to borrow from AA again - "one step at a time." What if, every day, for a two hour period, we were particularly careful to say nothing bad about anyone. Perhaps lunch or dinner would be an ideal time.

II
Another way to begin making ethical speech a part of your life is to constantly review and practice the principles of ethical speech.

(Words that Hurt Words that Heal by Joseph Telushkin)

Create a wonderful day!

Ms. Chevi Garfinkel Shiur

This is a MUST listen to shiur!!!

http://www.torahanytime.com/scripts/media.php?file=media/Ms/Chevi_Garfinkel/2008-09-01/Yimei_Ratzon_Ohr_Naava/Ms__Chevi_Garfinkel__Yimei_Ratzon_Ohr_Naava__2008-09-01.mp3

Enjoy!

Proper Speech Lesson of the Day

Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
This learning is dedicated liiluy nishmet Herschel Mattisyahu Ben Moshe Meir, ZL", may his neshama receive infinite aliyot neshama and he be remembered for berachot.

I
Speaking negatively about and to others as an addiction. Recovering alcoholics know that, to succeed, they can never treat liquor casually. If they attend a party where it is served, they avoid it, realizing that just one sip can bring about catastrophic results. They know that just making a mental or verbal commitment to stay sober won't work; what is required is unending vigilance.

II
Those who are recovering negative speakers and committed to speaking ethically need to be equally determined to avoid hurting others with words. We must try to refrain from becoming involved in malicious gossip for even a minute or two, just as recovering alcoholics avoid even taking one little sip.

(Words that Hurt Words that Heal by Joseph Telushkin)

Create a wonderful day!

Words like Wind

Chacham Yosef Chayim a"h says that Hashem created mountains to protect us from the powerful winds that are capable of terrible destruction. One may ask, why does G-d create storms in the first place? The answer, as brought in the Gemara, is that storms come as a result of sinful speech (such as Lashon Hara). People might think that speech is not tangible, and that it is nothingness like the wind. It does not last, there is no evidence of its existence, and it can not be found. Therefore, it cannot cause any spiritual damage. However, we know that this is not the case.

Where is the indisputable proof for this? The wind. Storms and winds, just like speech, may not have a physical dimension, may not be seen, but who can deny their strength and power? Can we ignore the power of the breath of our mouth? Can we belittle its destructive strength and our obligation to guard our tongues and watch our speech?

The prophet Yeshayahu in the Haftara for Parashath Ki Tisa, in one of his seven prophesies of consolation, says that in the future, "Heharim Yamushu, Vehaggva'ot Temuttena" (the mountains shall depart and the hills will be no more). There will be no more forbidden speech in the world and our speech will be pure and holy. Then there will be no more storms and winds, and needless to say, the mountains will have no purpose.

Let us not wait, but let us start now to purify and upgrade our speech. A spoken word cannot be erased, and once uttered, may cause much damage. If we think a bit before we speak freely and control our tongue - we will be able to do it.

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If you're one of those who gets inspired by seeing others who have been inspired..

Please say tehilim for sarah bat alta yospe- She is a holocaust survivor who had a stroke and took a turn for the worse...

Its that time of year...

Shalom shalom, its that time of year again and nope I'm not even talking about Elul. Its post israel trauma time, for many of us we spent our summers on incredible highs. Whether you were actually in israel learning or changing peoples lives somewhere else we are all feeling that drop. Schools starting, Elul has begun and I don't know where to turn.
I heard something this morning that shook me up even more that I'd like to share. A rabbi gave over this idea to someone as they where about to board the plane back to the states. He said "look at this trip as a opportunity to see what's truly yours" what did he mean by this? He explained that when a person is in israel or a high place, its almost expected of them to be on that high as well. When your surrounded by torah and its getting pounded into you its hard not to join in. Its when the person leaves, can they only see if that high belongs to them, or was it just created by the environment they where in.
I just got back to the states off of a truly life changing summer, I'm shaken up. I spent my summer surrounded by torah and truly thirsty people. And my job was to supply them the water, and boy where they thirsty. This summer wasn't about finding someone to listen, it was about pushing myself to really give.
But now is the truly hard part. I need to weel back in that hose, and fill it back up. Clean out the parts that got a bit rusted this year. And what better time then now.
I'm telling you hashem worked out this world in such a incredible order. This is EXACTLY! What I need now. I need Elul. I need to recharge, reevaluate, ask myself all those questions my campers asked me and see if the answers I have sit well. In truth I need to take my own advise. How many times do we tell friends to take it slow and take small thing on, are we doing it ourselves.
Let's all take great advantage of Elul and share all our learnings with eachother

Plan Out Your Teshuva!

Chodesh Elul is supposed to be a time for teshuva. Right before the yimey hadin we have a month dedicated to reflecting on our year where we can look back and see which areas in our lives really need work. While we are supposed to do this throughout the year as well, Elul is a special time to take a step back and see where we are in relation to where we know we can be.

Recently I've found this to be quite stressful. We all know we can be more, be better and yet we're falling short. Without even doing a proper cheshbon I know I am not where I should be and have found it very frustrating that this year even though it's currently Elul I haven't been able to pull myself together and go into super-teshuva mode like I have in the past. It's upsetting to feel as if you lack the tools to do real teshuva, especially before Rosh Hashanah.

The Kotzker Rebbe was once asked "Where is G-d?" to which he responded, "Wherever you let Him in." So when I picked up Holy Woman today and read this I took it as Hashem telling me where I was going wrong, and how I could fix it:

"...Mussar books tell us that it is not enough to aspire for a good trait, but one must work out specific techniques for acquiring that good trait...Lofty aspirations usually fail not from a lack of will but from a lack of method. Just as a building cannot be built from a vision, but only from a carefully drawn architect's plan, so real self-change requires a specific plan. When we declare, "I'll never get depressed," we doom ourselves to failure. When, however, we say, "When I feel depression overtaking me, I'll do X, Y, or Z," we are likely to succeed."

Teshuva can't come from a quick look at the areas where one needs improvement because that only results in feeling overwhelmed. Real teshuva requires a plan of specific steps and tactics to tackle the problem at the source, as well as emunah. May we all merrit Hashem's assistance to come to complete teshuva!

Kasiva V'Chasima Tova!

Making your life count

I hope everyone is having an amazing inspiring summer. This past shabbos on Yad b’Yad I was helping write a dvar torah with two girls and I remembered this idea that I once heard from Rav Simcha Hochbaum. In bentching we say “uviney yerushalim ir hakodesh bimihaira biyamanu..”. We talk about the beit hamikdash being rebuilt in our days. But lets say one has an amazing fulfilled life and did so many mitzvot, was his life then worth nothing if the beit hamikdash was not built? Of course not! So we should read the word Biyamanu as with our days, not in our days. Is what we are doing with our days going to lead to the building of the final beit hamikdash? Lets make every second of our life count!

This next poem always makes me think about making every second of your life count.

The Dash by Linda Ellis

There was a man who stood to speak

At the funeral of a friend

He referred to the dates on her tombstone

From the beginning to the end

He noted that first came her date of her birth

And spoke the following date with tears

But he said what mattered most of all

Was the dash between those years

For that dash stands for all the time

That she spent alive on earth.

And now only those who loved her

Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not how much we own;

The cars the house the cash

What matters is how we live and love

And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard.

Are there things you'd like to change?

For you never know how much time is left

That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough

To consider what's true and real

And always try to understand

The way other people feel.

We'd be less quick to anger

And show appreciation more

And love the people in our lives

Like we've never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect

And more often wear a smile

Remembering that this special dash

Might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy is being read

With your lifes actions to rehash

Would you be proud of the things they say

About how you spent your dash?

Cos that dash stands for all the time

That you spent alive on earth

And only those who loved you

Know what that little line is worth

It matters not how much you own

The cars the house the cash

What matters is how you live and love

And how you spend your dash

What matters is how you live and love

And how you spend your dash.

very interesting take a look

Parshat Re'eh

“See, I havee set before you this day a blessing and a curse; A blessing, if (asher) you obey the commandments of the Lord your God, which I command you this day; And a curse, if (im) you will not obey the commandments of the Lord your God, but turn aside from the way which I command you this day, to go after other gods, which you have not known” (Devarim: 11, 26-28)

This opening passage states that blessing will be given upon those who are obedient and the disobedient are threatened that they will be cursed. In addition, this passage states the Jewish fundamental belief that man has free will.

Devarim Rabbah (4, 3) says that evil overtakes those who commit evil and good will take over those who do good.

Nechama Leibowitz asks a question on the above text. The Torah writes “ a blessing, if (asher) you obey.” “A curse if (im) you will not obey”. Usually, the Torah would write “ im” in both conditions. A more accurate Englishinterpretation would be “ A blessing that you obey… a curse if you will not obey”. What is the point of this variation? She answers the question based on a Malbim. The Malbim gives the following explanation: “ a blessing that you obey” implies then that the very act of obedience of the mitzvoth constitutes the blessing. One cannot imagine that there is a reward in this world for abiding by the mitzvoth; the good deed itself is the reward. It is not like a master who rewards his servant for loyalty and punishes him for disobedience. The parallel is to a doctor who assures his patient that he will be well, as long as he takes his medications, or else he will die. The consequences here are inherent in the deed itself.

The Malbim’s interpretation basically expands on the concept that the reward of a mitzvah is a mitzvah- that virtue is its own reward. However this does not explain why the Torah changes its attitude in respect to sins and uses the conditional “im”. Is it not equally true to say that sin brings its own punishment? Isn’t the “reward” of a transgression a transgression? Bachya takes the Malbim a step further and explains the differences between “asher” and“im” in our context. Bachya writes that “im” is an expression of doubt, which is obviously inappropriate in relation to the obedience of Torah, but is appropriate in the context of punishment. Therefore, the text uses the word “asher”, an expression of certainty with reference to obedience.

Rashi explains that the bracha, is only on condition that bnei yisrael listen; “al m’nat”. What is Rashi trying to say here? To answer this we need to understand the difference between “al m’nat” and“im”, “if” (according to the Talmud). “Al m’nat” impliesretroactive force; “ I’ll reward you if you do this”. This implies that one will lead to the other after the work is done- on performance. However if one were to say “ I will pay you on account of the work that you do “, that would imply a retroactive obligation to pay even before the act is done. So, how can this be applied to Rashi’s interpretation(“on account of”) to the words “the blessing that you obey”? The meaning is that the blessing is given to man on account, even before he has proved himself deserving by obedience of the mitzvoth.

At the end of creation before man, the Torah says, “ And God saw all that He had made and behold it was very good”. The world was created for man to enjoy and to serve Hashem, on condition that he would be obedient to the will of God. The curse comes only afterwards, if man is disobedient. This is the reason for the deviation of terminology. The world id not originally evil and full of misfortune in order to be redeemed by man’s good. It is actually the opposite and all the ugliness and misfortune in the world are consequences of the bad committed by man; “and the curse if you will not obey” (11, 28).

Rav Hirsch writes that “asher tishmiu” means that the spiritual and moral act accomplished by doing every mitzvah represents in itself a blessed progress, an advancement of our entire personality; as if to say that each time we carry out a mitzvah we really “bless” ourselves. In addition, the words “re’eh”, “see!” is used specifically here to make the point that Bnei Yisrael has formed this conviction, not by belief or word of mouth, but by actually experiencing and seeing all that Hashem has done for them. They literally saw Hashem’s power and now Hashem has placed it in their hands the choice of whether or not their future will be one of blessings or curses.

Everyday, we are faced with the option to choose good or bad, to act with obedience or to go against Hashem’s will. After all that Hashem performed for us, thousands of years ago and today, would it not make sense and seem moral to live according to His word? Hashem created the world for our benefit and without evil, but it is because of us and our misdoings that misfortune was brought to the world. However, we can fix it. When waking up in the morning, don’t press the snooze button five times in a row, get up and daven. And when getting dressed, choose the less-tight outfit. In the hallway in school, greet everyone with “sever panim yafot” and be outgoing to the shy girl. God gives us the opportunity to “bless” ourselves when doing His mitzvoth, and we need to understand that the blessing is inherent of the mitzvah. We cant live our lives thinking, that when we do good, Hashem will bless us and that if we act with disobedience, Hashem will punish us, because the reality is that we punish ourselves when doing the wrong thing. One disobedient act leads to another so be alert when making decisions because it is in our hands to determine the life we will lead.

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